ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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