how can u be prego again
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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