I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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