NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize