So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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