I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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