Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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