you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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