I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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