I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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