Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In America we eat man semen.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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