So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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