you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize