i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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