i think i have two assholes
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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