i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize