We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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