they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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