I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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