oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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