I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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