Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
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You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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