I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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