So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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