I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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