Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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