How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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