I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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