Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize