my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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