She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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