Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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