Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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