wake up i wanna do it froggy style
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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