my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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