Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize