Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize