Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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