When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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