So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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