I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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