Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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