my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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