New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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