i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize