she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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