the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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