I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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