Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize