dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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